32 Comments
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Keith Long's avatar

This has such an interesting vibe to it, I really like it. I feel the poor guys exhaustion lol

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Parker McCoy's avatar

Haha. Whenever I reread it, I get worn out. Thank you so much for reading, Keith.

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John M. Price's avatar

I really like the photo too.

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John M. Price's avatar

Story moves along nicely in spite of all his obstacles. I like the dialog. Cold baloney. Brings back memories. Enjoyed this.

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Parker McCoy's avatar

Thank you so much for reading, John. I really appreciate it. Yes, I try to keep a good pace. I hate it when the plot grows stagnant.

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Matt Cyr's avatar

Thoroughly enjoyed this. The glasses being the cause for the clog was a nice touch. Poetic way of telling the reader, wait til you see the shit that gets thrown at this guy. Good example of presenting obstacles for the main char but not having it be punitive.

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Parker McCoy's avatar

Thank you so much, Matt. I love your insights. This one was fun to right. It’s difficult to see him put through so much but it also reveals his true character. He does what needs to be done no matter if he’s appreciated or not. Awesome comment. Thanks so much.

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Philip “Big Philly” Smith's avatar

Solid characterization. Not enough people write about the real working man today.

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Parker McCoy's avatar

Thank you so much for reading, Philly. Yes, I felt like Joe embodied that, for sure. There are tons of pressure and obligations and sometimes a man just wants a sandwich. Ha.

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Laura Lollar's avatar

Great story Parker. I could feel the exasperation through all his delays and obstacles!

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Parker McCoy's avatar

Old Joe got put through the ringer. Haha. I’m so glad you enjoyed it. Thank you for reading, Laura.

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jybyky's avatar

A tiring life, this writing describes the busyness, demands, responsibilities, and travel games that do not have to be done. I like

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Parker McCoy's avatar

Thank you so much for reading. I’m glad you enjoyed it. Yes, Joe is put through the ringer. Ha.

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Kaci Rigney's avatar

Poor Joe! Good story!

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Parker McCoy's avatar

Thank you so much for reading, Kaci.

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Kaci Rigney's avatar

Sure thang. Sorry it's not more often. I try, but keep getting sidetracked.

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K.C. Knouse's avatar

Poor Joe can't get a break. Somedays are like that and you do a brilliant job of illustrating the frustrations of everyday life, So one feels entitled to a little reward to compensate. It's only natural. That's what makes this story work, it's real. I got a kick out of the guy who kept walking out of stores without paying for his merchandise, while Joe stood in line. I never imagined the use of a subway sandwich as a weapon. Thoroughly enjoyable, Parker.

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Parker McCoy's avatar

Haha. Thank you very much, KC. I always enjoy finding new objects to use as weapons. Yeah, the smiling guy always getting ahead had to be an even longer thorn in Joe’s side. Thank you so much for reading.

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Mark Armstrong's avatar

"The toilet paper was in the back corner. He grabbed up a pack and then headed to the candy aisle where they had plenty of M & Ms- plain and almond and peanut butter."

You've clearly been spying on me while I do my grocery shopping!! 😅

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Parker McCoy's avatar

LOL. I…may have followed you…just once though.

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Christopher Sworen's avatar

That's human gratitude, man. You work your ass off all day long just to go back home to a wife who's anything but considerate (won't even let him have a sandwich, for crying out loud!) and the kid, well, let's just hope he'll grow up to be a better boy, he can still get a pass. But Joe's clearly being used, although I can see how he is a huge part of his own problem; he asks his wife permission to buy a sandwich, or drives for miles on end to find the right M&M's instead of taking just any and tell Preston they didn't have the ones he wanted - though I'm sure he meant well, that looks to me like Joe needs other people's approval and that means that he's looking for external validation because he most probably can't find it within. He doesn't love himself and feels like its only natural for him to live a shitty life. Maybe that's good, though, if it makes him more resilient to all the stress he has to go through in the first place, kind of like a defence mechanism. It's like a vicious circle...

I was quite moved, though, when he found comfort in the deli woman's smile. You could see how he cherished it and how absent such a simple thing was from his life.

And at the end of the day, all he needed was to just sit down and take a whiff of what reminded him of freedom to feel a bit better.

At least that's my take.

I mean, wow! This was such a cool, profound story, Parker. One solid short story. Congrats!

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Parker McCoy's avatar

Thank you so much for reading, Christopher. I really appreciate it. Yes, I think Joe is just a “do what you gotta do” kind of man. He works and takes care of business and asks for little in return. It’s people like this who keep the world going, I think. And I’m sure we’ve all felt the kind of sting that comes with the daily grind like this. Life just beats you down some days. Thank you so much for your kind words, especially coming from such a talented writer as yourself. I love this platform.

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A.C. Cargill, All-Human Author's avatar

No good deed goes unpunished! Shiver! Great story by a very human writer.

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Parker McCoy's avatar

Thank you so much, AC. No AI here. Hehe.

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Rea de Miranda's avatar

This is true in every way. I can imagine poor Joe. Great one Parker!

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Parker McCoy's avatar

Thank you so much for reading, Rea.

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Black Cats and Poppies's avatar

I really empathized with Joe's day. Long, long day but there's still so much to do. And sadly true with the modern crowds reaction to Joe's heroism. Keep it up, Joe. You're a good man.

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Parker McCoy's avatar

Thank you so much for reading. Yes, Joe has a rough time, but he still keeps pushing forward. I feel like there are many of these types of people out there. I feel like I’ve been one at times and I’m sure many of us have.

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Sue Cauhape's avatar

Holy merde! At least he didn’t get arrested. If I were him, I wouldn’t bother going home. Just get in my truck and boogie to a new life. Great story and very true to our crazy lives,

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Sue Cauhape's avatar

It was a cool story. Yeah, drop kick the wife and move on.

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Parker McCoy's avatar

Hehe. I’m sure Joe has considered finding a new life. Maybe he did. But either way, he showed a lot of courage and grit there. Thank you so much for reading. I really appreciate it.

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Anne-Marie Hubert's avatar

Nice story.

The reader is really placed through the tiredness of his day by the descriptions of all the actions he's undertaking.

I do agree with the comment that I thought Joe sort of brings this on himself, going through all this trouble getting the M&Ms rather than only saying "Sorry, they didn't have any." Which tell a lot about the character.

Then the action scene for the woman who brightened his day is really great.

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